Ryan and I have been very busy. It's nearing the end of hosting signup, which means I am trying to get any and every opportunity to speak about the orphan hosting ministry. Between last Sunday and today I've had 5 different singing and/or speaking opportunities. One was in the evening and as I was leaving Ryan said... "you are going to talk about me again?" Funny, but yes, I'll be talking about you for the rest of my life. I followed up with, "don't you want to hear me sing again?" He quickly said no, then followed it up with, "but I hear you sing every day." Truly though, he's been a great sport about accompanying me to the daytime functions.
Ryan is LOVING having a soccer team. This is his first chance ever to be on a "real" team. He loves the team concept. All during the week he talks about his game coming up on Saturday. Coach Dad is, of course, "required" by law or something to teach him about American football. With that, Ryan asked me this week if his Upward team won the next 7 games in a row, did they get to play a big, final game? As you can see, the sports are running together and there's been too much superbowl talk! (Ha) Yesterday I used the NFL draft to point out that the people sitting at those tables with those athletes were their momma's and daddy's... i.e. I will always be important...always! And, one day when he has his name etched on a table sign, I will gaze ever so sweetly into the camera and wave to everyone and say, "that's my boy." Now I just need one of those Chunky Soup commercials to come on so I can further illustrate my point, that momma's are FOREVER important, not just at draft tables but in his subsequent commercials as well!
Oh my, now my need of prayer! While we never considered this before now, we are now and find ourselves in new territory. Observing Ryan, getting to know him, realizing the special needs he has to build foundational, key things these next couple years in particular... we are considering and entertaining the idea of Christian School. This is for several reason. This is not about dogging public education, seeing as we are both public school teachers. Ryan's class in Latvia was TINY. Now that he's gone, he said there are 3 remaining 7th graders! His entire school was in sort of a small two-story house. Plus, he is not a fan of crowds. If there is a crowd, he would just as soon find a way out of it. He's quite social, but larger group settings just make him a little uneasy. So, throwing him into a 1000+ enrollment strikes me as something he's not ready for. He will also need very patient teachers. He has alot to learn, not just in subject matter, but in boundaries, cultural norms, social skills, etc. This first year will be critical in how he embraces schooling in America. In that regards, being surrounded by Godly people who will practice grace, mercy and loving discipline, will be a priceless addition to his growth and maturation here.
Finally, he's been surrounded by the "world" for so long. I want to think he's paid his dues in full to meanness, abuse, apathy and cruelty. He's more than seen the darkness of humanity, he's lived it. I think he deserves and needs to be surrounded by love, salt and light. I pray he never again has to re-visit the depths of human sin that he has witnessed. Everyone should pray their children never experience such, but mine already has.
This schooling decision isn't as much about his protection as it is about his redemption and his restoration. We as humans and sinners don't deserve much of what God blesses us with. But, every once in a while, he just blesses us for our patience and faith. I'd like to think that's how it will be this fall for Ryan. He isn't perfect, but he's had a certain amount of faith and patience, he's held onto hope when everything around him was screaming otherwise. I'd personally like to think this is God's plan, just to bless my son for holding on, not growing hard-hearted and not becoming bitter. Joel 2 says, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten." I believe God is opening our eyes and placing this idea on our hearts because He himself wants to bless Ryan with an environment that is loving, kind, gracious and patient. For how long? I don't know. I'm thinking at least 2 years, 7th and 8th grade. Then, if he's ready and grounded, maybe he'd like to go to high school with his dad. I can't see the future, only what I feel led to right now and this is how we are leaning. We would ask for your prayers. As public educators, we are not wealthy people and this type of education is not free. We desperately need God's wisdom and guidance starting now. One thing we're praying about is if it's God's plan for me to get a position at such a school, that would certainly help, as the children of employees are on reduced rates and it would be an answer to two prayers 1) our son's education and 2) where does God plan to plant me this fall job-wise?
Everything is our world is so new, not unlike many other brand-new parents. I pray alot. I cry alot. Not because I'm sad of course, but I just look at the face of this precious commodity God has given me. I feel so vulnerable and, at the same time, he looks so vulnerable to me. Not in the natural of course, but I see the condition of his heart. You know, I have my first Mother's Day coming up and I'm more than a little excited! I was thinking in church this morning, if someone asked me on my 1st Mother's Day what I loved most about my child, what would I say? Others could draw on their child's strength's and accomplishments. They could reference all the wonderful things their child has done. But, I don't even know entirely who Ryan is yet! I don't know all his strength's and bless his heart, his first accomplishment might have been the red star (for best defense) he won at the Upward game on Saturday. The only reason I'd be able to give is... because he's mine. And, know what, that's pretty good reason to me! God Bless everyone! Thanks for your encouragement, thanks for reading, thanks for praying!
